So if you didn’t know already, I’m getting married at the end of this month. In actual fact its going to be two-weeks this coming Saturday. Which has come around super fast since I proposed almost two years ago. Now, there is a lot of information out there about what to do and what to think about but they’re mainly aimed at Brides, or if they are aimed at men it basically just tells you “Don’t get drunk and don’t get sad if you don’t get lucky on your wedding night.”
Now I don’t want to sound like I think I’m brilliant, but I pretty much had those bits down as a given. So here is my guide to organising a wedding from a man’s perspective.
1. Your job is to help your future wife
No pressure, but you are about to plan the biggest, most important event in your life. Hopefully this will be the only time you do it so you need to have each other’s backs. There is a lot of pressure on some women to have the best wedding their guests have ever been to, something which men traditionally haven’t had to deal with. Make sure your girl knows you’re there to bounce ideas off, even if she’s just saying things out loud and they’re sort of rhetorical. Just having someone there to listen to her will help.
2. Be interested
“I don’t mind”, “Whatever you think” and “It’s up to you” are thinly veiled synonyms for “I don’t want to make this decision”, “I couldn’t care less” or “This isn’t important to me”. Don’t be that guy. It’s ok to be excited about lace and flowers and stuff, no-one is going to think you’re a wimp. (And if they do, they’re kind of a jerk)
3. It’s ok to not like something
If your significant other is all about having a Moulin Rouge themed wedding with burlesque dancers and you dressed in a top hat and tails with a feather boa on, and you think it sounds terrible, tell her. It may be a bit of a strong example but believe it or not a wedding is your day too, not just the Bride’s (just mostly the Bride’s)
4. The little things do matter
“Do we really need to spend an extra £15 a table to have some sort of fancy centrepiece?” Sometimes, yes. Think about any wedding you’ve been to. You may not remember the individual little things that went on your table or around the room, but you’ll remember the vibe they help give off about the wedding in general. All those extra little details do go noticed, albeit perhaps subconsciously.
5. Enjoy it
Pretty self-explanatory but the organisation of a wedding can be fun if you make it fun. Try not to see anything as a chore. The months of making little weddingy bits will fly by, and even if you’re really bad at making or sticking or folding or helping, that’s half the fun.
6. Don’t get too bogged down in the politics
Another “This is your day” entry in the list. Uncle A might get funny if you don’t invite Cousin B and Aunty X might not want to sit anywhere near Uncle Z’s new wife. But ultimately that’s not your problem. This isn’t about them, and if they can’t be civil for one day for your sake then they need to do some self-adjustment. Do what’s best for you and your wallet. Be a little bit cut throat in your guest list. No-one wants people they don’t even know in their wedding photos.
7. Your Stag Do should be epic – but for the right reasons
Your Stag should be a time where all your best mates and all your family bond over one, amazing weekend. Important people from all areas of your life come together and have a top laugh and are there to celebrate what a good bloke you are and how happy they are for you that you’re getting married. Don’t pick someone to be your Best Man if they can’t organise their way out of a paper bag or if you’re likely to lose an eyebrow.
8. Make lists. SO MANY LISTS.
Seriously. If you’re anything like me you have a TERRIBLE memory. Making a Doomsday Book sized stack of notes is the best way to get the craziness out of your head and in to some sort of order. Also, spreadsheets are your friend when it comes to breaking down how much everything is going to cost.
That’s kind of it for now. I’m sure I’ll add more entries as I think of things but I’m pretty wedding-focused at the minute!
Adrienne and I had our last meeting with our Wedding Planner from the venue so the next time I go to our venue will be the time I marry my best mate. That’s kind of nutty, but also amazing. Can’t wait.